Pensive

pen·sive [pénssiv]adjective

deeply thoughtful: thinking deeply about something, especially in a sad or serious manner

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Im supposed to write down a long, long blog article tonight because I've got a lot of things on my mind. I mean a lot, it's been so long since I last posted something. However, I got so engrossed in trying to download some "homebrew" or software for my PSP over this slothlike connection that I lost most of my zeal. Then again, this stupid connection is getting on my nerves so while the different forums and download sites load... I'll type away my rants and raves in another window... it's offpeak hours from 12am to 8am so internet is free... two thumbs up! yey!.

Today's not so bad. Woke up at the usual time. Around 11am... ^_^ Parents were away trying to find a highschool for my brother so we had to wait a while for lunch. Of course I had the option of zapping some hotdogs with the microwave again, but my parents usually bring home tastier goodies than those hotdogs so I decided against it. It was letchon manok this time so we had a hearty lunch. =).

The boybands were texting DOTA at 2pm but I didnt come. Me and bro were scheduled to play badminton that afternoon so I had to cancel on some of my "appointments." Besides, it has been almost a week since my last workout so my cheeks were starting to inflate from all the food I've been gobbling up. He beat me 3-0 but thats ok, I always win the second set but don't have enough stamina to beat him for the third. He had formal training anyway and won silver in the district meets. Im still better at painball. Whoohoo... FYI, badminton at City Sports costs only 50 pesos per head during off peal hours. And as long as there's a free, non-hourly basis court - you can play all you want.. even on the rubberized surfaces. Cool. :P.

Ok I admit it, I'm kinda obsessed with my PSP that I'm currently spending a lot of cash on it this summer. On the first week, I bought a crystal case for 500 pesos - that's to protect it from scratches and shock while I'm playing. To lessen the chances of me dropping my precious - I bought a wrist strap, which is more of a chain since its made of metal. Thats 70 pesos. So that I can play pirated games, I had it upgraded to version 3.30 OE-A'. That's an open edition firmware by dark alex for you tech heads. Since no one in Iloilo had the technology or knowhow (actually I had, but again, im an internet connection deprived individual) we had to send the unit to manila for two days. The "package" comes with four games for 2500. Amf! If only I had a DSL connection I could do it myself... tsktsktsk. Anways, my PSP is working fine and Im currently playing grand theft auto vice city stories. More recently after badminton practice, me wnd bro went strait to SM. My sister is practicing Hula dancing there so we met up with my parents. I had some cash at hand so again I was temted to buy another peripheral for this accursed unit. This time its a remote control for 380 pesos. This will enable me to play MP3s while my PSP is safely tucked away in my bag or something. I still have a lot of things on my list but those will have to wait. I need cash. Argh!

Ok, straight to the meaty stuff.

I feel so lost. I dont know what to do. Sometimes I feel like quitting on her. Erm... girls... yeah... its another issue about girls.... or a certain girl this time... "thee girl" ... .... or so I thought.

She's got so many special people in her life that it's getting hard to compete... to get attention... I wont expound on any of them but I can tell you this: my radar is picking up at least three blips.

Well, all is fair. I dont think I want to abandon ship yet, although I've had a few sleepless nights thinking about the idea.I hope everything will turn out to be ok. Sana nga wala lang talaga siyang load. T.T

As the song goes: To think by now I've learned, you play with fire and you get burned. But fire can be, oh so warm, and that's why I've returned...

Singing sad love songs, despising love flicks (yeah a lot of them were shown on the local channels this holy week), and hating most of everything aroung me. Argh, Im becoming a sentimental fool again, trying to view the world with fading rose tinted glasses... my proverbial circle of life is starting to complete another revolution. *sigh*

Preparing for the worst but hoping for the best.... I still have all ten fingers crossed..

..so help me God.