Reality Check

Holeh heck! Im starting to realize the negative consequences of my choice to rejoin my old "barkada" for next term.

Sure I need them, they're a great help when it comes to projects, assignments, study groups, and most other academic activities that could even include some "secretary work" like reminding me of deadlines and doing my homework. But if you've been a close reader of my blog, you must already know that life turned to hell when cupid struck me with a poison arrow. The rest is history, but yeah... I had to leave them for the sake of my sanity.

Six or so months later... time has healed most of the wounds and I was ready to be friends again. They were willing to accept me... miss na rin nila ako. Great, diba? Life has been good to me during my absence sa barkada. Most of my teachers were cool, kaya konte lang ang academic problems. I met a lot of new people, made new friends, and became closer to most of my old acquaintances. Adding more friends to my inventory would'nt hurt right? Especially when those friends were once really close to you. I could'nt be more mistaken.

I checked my friendster after a long absence and found it loaded with activity. Amidst all the clutter her message stuck out like a sore thumb. It was just a few harmless words, "ang pics natin sa MOA nandun kay mr chuchuchu." "Ok fine, so what I dont care... Sge nga click ko nga ang profile niya. Matagal ko na rin kasi hindi nabuksan yun. Recently ko lang ulit dinagdag sa friends list ko yun." That was when reality hit me.

A lot of things has happened to her during the past six months, the most surprising was that... basing on the comments of her friends, and her additude towards that person's account... she met someone. Big deal, right? I should not really care since I myself met a few special people during that time. But why am I struck with this overhelming pang of jealousy? Sabi ko pa nga nung una ko nakita ang new pics niya, ang pangit na niya dahil tumaba siya, umitim pa, ang gulo pa rin ng buhok.... yadda yadda yadda... but why do I still feel this way? I dont like her physically, and ayaw na ayaw ko rin ang attitude niya... pero why naiinggit ako?

I must be strong and look away. I wish I had a hand to hold right now.

***

Wala ka nga load! Yes! That's just the answer that I needed. Kala ko kasi kung ano na ang nangyari sayo. Wala lang... miss na kasi kita. Medyo sparse na ang times na meron tayong communication ngayon. Sana maayos na phone niyo. Sana I'll see you soon. Thanks for everything po. Sana you'll still be there next term. Dito lang ako always. ^_^